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The Sangxane has created good conditions for me, Dieu Lien, to come close to the poor people of Quang Nam province. This is the first time I have visited Que Long and Que Thuan communes of Que Son District. Mr. Le Van Dieu, the Head of the Buddhist Social Charity Board of Quang Tri province, and I came here to implement a programme for children with disabilities.
Mr. Dieu previously made contact and arranged our meeting schedule through some teachers who work on behalf of poor fellow-villagers. He also contacted the villagers’ local representatives earlier so that we could visit each of the families and give gifts to every child with a disability.
While waiting, teacher Tran Dinh Phuc told me about a student that he taught two years ago. He said poor students are countless, but there are faces and lives that he never forgets though they have left his classes for many years. Though we were now implementing a programme for children with disabilities, he said he still hoped that we could give some time to this student. Knowing that the student was so poor, sometimes he gave him some money. However, he could only help the student by giving him extra classes so that he could study better, which might give him an opportunity to earn a living later on. Following the introduction of teacher Phuc, and after visiting and giving gifts to 21 children with disabilities, we came to the appointment site to meet Nguyen Van Toan.
Our car headed for Que Thuan commune, Que Son district. Quang Nam province was pitch dark, though it was then just 7 p.m. It was raining incessantly and uncomfortably cold. Suddenly, about 3 or 4 people ran out and stopped our car. From them, we learned that the appointment site with teacher Phuc and Toan had been changed. Worrying that the opportunity for Toan could be missed if our car passed the new site, the female general supervisor of Toan’s present class, teacher Phuc, and fellow villagers had been waiting for us by the road to guide us to a coffee shop and meet Toan.
Among the people waiting in the coffee shop, I saw a single-eyelidded, dark-skinned boy, with his head lowered, his shoulders slouched, and his hands hidden between his knees. He wore a white shirt that had turned yellowish, with black cloth-mould dots, and a thin, short-sleeved yellowish-green pullover. This pullover was a gymnastic uniform, but he was using it as a “sweater” for winter. I was compelled by my feelings and experiences to come and sit right by his side. I asked him: “Where’s your sweater?” He replied, “I don’t feel cold." He was Toan, 15 years old, the 10th-grade student of Que Son High School that people wanted me to meet. Later on, the image of this slim, weak boy hidding himself in a thin gym pullover against the prolonged cold of the Central area returned to my mind many times. Upon returning to Hue , I phoned and asked teacher Phuc and Toan’s class general supervisor to buy sweaters and blankets for Toan and his mother.
The fellow villagers, both sitting and standing around two big tables, were so anxious to help him that they shouted noisily: “Tell her, tell her and she will help! You fool! Why are you closed as a clam!” They scolded him, seeing that an opportunity had come but he did not utter a word! People felt so bad for him but they had no way to help him. Meanwhile, he remained still with lowered head, tears sliding down from the corners of his eyes. He buried his face in his arms and could not say a word. I tried to console him to ease his feelings. However, understanding that he could not speak, I suggested: “If you don’t want to tell me, then when I have arrived at Hue , you will write me a letter, won’t you?” He replied timidly: “Yes."
Toan’s father had left his mom, his older sister and him. Working so hard to bring up the two small children, his mother became exhausted and developed a serious disease. Her epilepsy and serious asthenia has kept her bedridden for many years now. Poverty also drove his sister to marriage at an early age. She reasoned that her leaving home would save food for the family. She gave birth to twins, bringing more wants and difficulties to the farming couple.
Every day, Toan gets up at 4 a.m . He cleans his mother’s whole body, then cooks porridge for her, and feeds her, which takes him a long time to finish, because she can hardly swallow. After that, he goes to school. At noon , he returns home and again, cleans his mom, cooks porridge, and feeds her. In the afternoon, he does the house chores, looks for food so that he can prepare porridge for his mother again the next day. After dinner, he reviews his school lessons for the next day’s class. I asked him, “Why don’t you cook all the porridge once a day to save time?” Toan said, “Mom can only eat warm porridge." Later I realised that this is true: there is much love in his porridge. Actually, he hardly has anything to prepare porridge for his mother – with the monthly allowance of only 63,000 VND (or US$ 4) given by the commune authority to families of severely ill patient(s) and 40,000 VND (or US$ 2.5) by his sister. Having no money to buy anything, he has to spend much time and effort to make warm and liquid food so that his mother can eat. I looked at him and asked, “Why don’t you lose heart, living such a miserable life?” Still with his head lowered, he answered: “Because Mom gave birth to me, Mom has brought me up." Such a simple reason has given him extraordinary power to rise above every challenge and hardship that life casts upon his family.
The coffee shop owner and fellow villagers revealed that, earlier on when his maternal grandmother, who also suffered from paralysis, was alive, he had to care for both his grandmother and mother with a similar regime, i.e with two different bowls of porridge, one spoon for his grandmother, another for his mom, and again and again. The villagers told that when a Sangxane storm relief mission came to give rice for poor households, he silently came to receive the rice and cycled back home. He lives such a silent life, in which he strives to rise above himself. His silent act of paying gratitude to his mother touches the hearts of his neighbours. He never complains nor asks for anything from anybody. I hope that EOCVN benefactors will give compassion to Toan, who is in such a plight.
I suggested to teacher Phuc that one day, when Toan’s mother passes away, if he needs help to finish his university studies, he should let me know because I am able to afford his studies. Upon hearing this, everybody was amazed and happy, especially teacher Phuc. With a bright smile on his face, the old teacher said, “It is such luck for Toan. We can’t say anything else if you can do so." I proposed this without hesitation, because beside me there are thousands of “Understanding” and “Loving” eyes and hands that have been going along with me over many years now in our work of turning patches of arid land into fertile ones.
After this night gathering of villagers and teachers, Mr. Dieu handed Toan a scholarship of 600,000 VND (or US$ 40). We will continue to provide more financial support to Toan and his mother. Every three months, money will be forwarded to him. He will receive assistance from different benefactors so that he can take the loving milk from many mothers everywhere.
2006 Winter
Dieu Lien
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